Chevron

Door bell rings...

Sweet kid trying to sell newspaper subscriptions.

I feel bad, I don't want the newspaper and plus I don't know where all my cash is crumpled up.. maybe in my car? We chat for a while, I ask him where he is from and find out he is from JFK High School in Richmond, he is a senior and he likes to play football.

Poor kid has a rip in his football jersey and is stuck selling magazine subscriptions in Marin County hoping to catch a break...

He starts talking about college tuition and how Chevron (before the fire in Richmond) used to pay for his football fees and promised to pay for his college but stopped paying after saying "they don't have enough money to pay for it because of the fire at the refinery".

I tell him that sounds strange considering they are a multinational, multibillion dollar corporation profiting from.. well. The entirety of Mother Earth's oil deposits.

Poor kid just kind of laughs sadly and thanks me for my time. I ask him if he has heard of the Pell grant or all the other free and easy to get funding for low income college students. He hadn't... I tell him to remember the words Pell Grant and have a good day and he moves on to other door bells and probably gets some slammed in his face as usual.

I am about to go back to writing papers and I stop and think... ah, what the hell. I grab as much cash as I find and search for the websites of Pell Grant, Cal Grant, FAFSA and write it all down including my email address. I find him outside again after having made all the rounds of the doors and the door slammings. I hand him an envelope with the paper and the little cash I found.

I ask him why he hasn't heard of the Pell Grant, I mean you hardly have to be a good student to get it and it pays for everything -- the only requirement is that you are low income.

You are low income right?

"Yeah."

Isn't there anyone at your school telling you about this?

He says "No, we don't have no one telling us anything. The only thing they tell us is that if we get perfect grades maybe we can try to get into Harvard and Harvard will pay for us. Chevron used to pay for me but now they say they can't. They don't think about kids like me, kids that now have to knock on doors and get doors slammed on them"

Maybe you should go knock on the CEO of Chevron's door.

"He would for sure slam it in my face. They don't think about kids like me"

So no one is telling low-income graduating high school students in Richmond about the grants that are actually available to them? They are just saying Oops can't get into Harvard? Well you can't go to San Jose State.

"Nope, I had no idea about this, is it going to go away like the Chevron scholarship? I want to go to San Jose State if I go for football or if I can't go to college for football I want to go to Cal Poly because they have a good engineering program"

No it is a federal grant and it could pay for you to go to San Jose State or any state school easy. What do you want to study?

"Mechanical engineering"

Oh so Chevron stopped paying for you but maybe you will work for them one day as an engineer.

-- insert big smile on his face --

"Yeah maybe I will take over that damn company. They don't think about kids like me but if I was the boss I would remember"

Damn, what would Chevron be like if run by a low-income kid from Richmond? Why is it that the most low income students who need it the most are being denied information about free government funds for education and are forced to travel to more affluent areas to basically beg for money... too sad.

Wisdom O'Rogan

Forgive the Dream

Forgive the Dream

All your images of winter
I see against your sky.
I understand the wounds
That have not healed in you.
they exist
Because God and love
Have yet to become real enough
to allow you to forgive
The dream.
You still listen to an old alley song
That brings your body pain;
Now chain your ears
To His pacing drum and flute.
Fix your eyes upon
The magnificent arch of His brow
That supports
And allows this universe to expand.
Your hands, feet, and heart are wise
And want to know the warmth
Of a Perfect One's circle.
A true saint
Is an earth in eternal spring.

Inside the veins of a petal
on a blooming redbud tree...

 ...are hidden worlds
Where Hafiz sometimes
Resides.
I will spread A Persian carpet there
Woven with light.
We can drink wine
From a gourd I hollowed
And dried on the roof of my house.
I will bring bread I have kneaded
That contains my own
Divine genes
And cheese from a calf I raised.
My love for your Master is such
You can just lean back
And I will feed you
This truth:

Your wounds of love can only heal
When you can forgive
This dream. 

.............................. Hafiz

Wisdom O'Coelho

Does a leaf, when it falls from the tree in winter, feel defeated by the cold?
The tree says to the leaf:
‘That’s the cycle of life. You may think you’re going to die, but you live on in me. It’s thanks to you that I’m alive, because I can breathe. It’s also thanks to you that I have felt loved, because I was able to give shade to the weary traveller. Your sap is in my sap, we are one thing.’
Does a man who spent years preparing to climb the highest mountain in the world feel defeated on reaching that mountain and discovering that nature has cloaked the summit in storm clouds?
The man says to the mountain: ‘You don’t want me this time, but the weather will change and, one day, I will make it to the top. Meanwhile, you’ll still be here waiting for me.’
Does a young man, rejected by his first love, declare that love does not exist?
The young man says to himself: ‘I’ll find someone better able to understand what I feel. And then I will be happy for the rest of my days.’
Losing a battle or losing everything we thought we possessed will bring us moments of sadness, but when those moments pass, we will discover the hidden strength that exists in each of us, a strength that will surprise us and increase our self-respect.
Wait patiently for the right moment to act.
Do not let the next opportunity slip.
Take pride in your scars.
Scars are medals branded on the flesh, and your enemies will be frightened by them because they are proof of your long experience of battle. Often this will lead them to seek dialogue and avoid conflict.
Scars speak more loudly than the sword that caused them.


taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

Wisdom O'Hafiz

Tired of Speaking Sweetly

Love wants to reach out and manhandle us,

Break all our teacup talk of God.

If you had the courage and

Could give the Beloved His choice, some nights,

He would just drag you around the room

By your hair,

Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world

That bring you no joy.

Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly

And wants to rip to shreds

All your erroneous notions of truth

That make you fight within yourself, dear one,

And with others,

Causing the world to weep

On too many fine days.

God wants to manhandle us,

Lock us inside of a tiny room with Himself

And practice His dropkick.

The Beloved sometimes wants

To do us a great favor:

Hold us upside down

And shake all the nonsense out.

But when we hear

He is in such a "playful drunken mood"

Most everyone I know

Quickly packs their bags and hightails it

Out of town.

From: 'The Gift'

Translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Introvert Vs the World

Desiderata

Desiderata
by Max Ehrmann

Thomas Cooper Gotch
Mrs. Fielden, d.1957. Violinist, 1912

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.